


Not Alone

by mldrgrl



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 13:49:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4879246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mldrgrl/pseuds/mldrgrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mulder returns home after a profiling assignment separates him from Scully for a week. Set around season 7, no episode spoilers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Alone

 

            Mulder shoved the door to his apartment open with his shoulder, fighting every urge he had to kick it off its hinges.  He wanted to throw something.  He wanted to break something.  He wanted to put his fist through a wall.  It was to be expected; spending a week inside the mind of a madman would make anyone, well, mad.

 

             Carelessly, Mulder hooked his suit jacket onto his coat rack as he yanked at his already loosened tie.  He was about to kick his door shut, but took a pause, hand fisted at the knot at his neck. She was in his apartment; Scully, asleep on his couch, her face illuminated by the pale green glow from the bubbling fish tank behind her.  This was also to be expected.  Well, maybe.

 

            Because he didn’t want to risk waking Scully, Mulder closed the door as softly as he could and turned the lock slowly.  He quietly made his way down the hall and shut himself inside the room he’d only recently come to think of as his bedroom and not a storage space. Before dropping down to sit on the edge of the bed, he rolled his tie around one hand and then threw it at a stack of boxes in the corner of the room.

 

            Mulder pressed his elbows into his thighs and dropped his head into his hands. Scully was probably angry with him. He’d ignored her calls all week and rebuffed any attempts she’d made to see him in the VCS offices. He’d even yelled at her to stay away. He’d already dragged her into one hell, there was no need to pull her into another, but he knew she wouldn’t see it that way.

 

            Mulder hated the assignment.  He hated being asked to put his profiling skills to the test and he hated that he was incapable of saying no.  He knew he was a last resort and he knew there were those in the department that resented him for it and he hated that too.  He especially hated that there were assholes roaming the planet that liked to torture people for sport, and he hated that he could put himself into their minds when he had to.   He hated being so hateful.

           

            Sighing, Mulder scrubbed his face with both hands and then toed off his shoes. While he changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, he contemplated what to do about Scully. There were as many pros and cons of waking her up as there were in just letting her sleep.  He finally decided on waking her, only to tell her that he was at home.  He hoped she wouldn’t want to talk about it, or worse yet, yell at him.  He was too tired to argue.

 

            Mulder shuffled out to the living room and stopped in front of the couch. Scully was breathing deeply, and they’d been on enough late night stakeouts for him to know that meant she’d been asleep for quite awhile.  Her jacket was hanging on the back of the chair at his desk and her shoes were off and neatly pushed just under the coffee table.  There was a bag of Chinese food on the table, which probably also meant she was worried he wasn’t eating.  Gingerly, he lifted the paper bag, cringing when it crinkled loudly in his hand. He glanced at Scully, but she didn’t stir.

 

            After storing the food in the refrigerator, Mulder returned to the living room and stared down at Scully.  She lay on her back, one arm resting across her ribs and the other bent at the elbow, wrist turned lightly at her shoulder.  Her face was turned to the outside of the couch and her chin just touched her curled fingers.  She must’ve come over after leaving work since she was still in her professional, g-woman attire. At least she’d untucked the baby blue dress shirt from her slacks to get more comfortable.

 

            Watching Scully sleep, Mulder was suddenly overcome with emotion. Whenever he was sucked into the world of a psychopath, he always felt like the only thing that separated the two of them was his own self-control.  He related to their loneliness and the anger and the isolation a little too much. But, here he was with someone who cared that he remembered to eat and tried to make sure he was sleeping all right and showed up on his doorstep when he didn’t deserve it.

 

            Mulder decided not to wake her, but he couldn’t resist leaning over slightly to push away the hair that had fallen across her face.  And once he’d done that, he couldn’t resist holding his palm to her bare cheek or brushing his thumb back and forth over her soft skin. When Scully lifted her shoulders and took a deep breath, turning her head to the other side as her eyes rolled open then shut, he couldn’t resist lying down and fitting himself onto the couch beside her.

 

            “Mulder?” Scully murmured.

 

            Mulder draped his leg over Scully’s knees and put his arm over her. In a half-asleep daze, Scully turned her hand so that she was touching Mulder’s face.  Suddenly, Scully started beneath him, going stiff before struggling weakly to free her legs.

 

            “It’s me,” Mulder answered.  “You can go back to sleep.”

 

            It took a few moments, but Scully stopped shifting her legs. “What are you doing?” she asked.

 

            “I don’t know.”

 

Scully wiggled her shoulders towards the back of the couch so she could free one arm and then brushed her hand against Mulder’s cheek.  His days old unshaved face scratched her fingertips.

 

            “I identified him,” Mulder said, just as her thumb traced the outline of his upper lip.  “They wouldn’t let me go with them to make the arrest.”  Mulder breathed deeply and Scully stilled her hand against his cheek. “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

 

            “I’m glad it’s over,” she whispered.  “I’ve been worried.”

 

            “Is it ever really over?”  Mulder tipped his chin and his nose pressed against Scully’s shoulder.  “Thank you.”

 

            “For what?”

 

            “Being here right now.”

 

            Mulder felt Scully hold her breath.  She tried to be subtle about it, but his arm was across her mid-section and he felt the change immediately.  It made him open his eyes slightly and he found himself staring at her neck, imagining he could see her pulse in the darkness, swift and steady.  He couldn’t help but sweep his thumb lightly across the dip of her ribcage and her abdominal muscles clenched at his touch.

 

            As they lay in silence, Mulder wondered what Scully was thinking. She wasn’t objecting to his holding her, but he could tell she wasn’t exactly comfortable.  He also figured that if she didn’t want him lying next to her, touching her, he’d have been knocked down on his ass and in a pair of cuffs with a gun at his head two minutes ago.  Knowing this, and knowing that the little spontaneity Scully had shown over the years still had a sense of careful consideration, he could wait for her to relax. Besides, he wanted to stay right where he was.

 

            Scully turned her head towards Mulder and tilted it in such a way that her cheek rested against Mulder’s forehead. Slowly, her fingers slipped over his forearm that lay heavy across her waist and she settled her arm along his, holding on to his elbow.  Mulder tried not to smile as he gave her a soft squeeze and shifted closer against her.

 

            “Mulder?” Scully whispered.

 

            “Yes?”

 

            “Will you answer one question for me?”

 

            “Depends on the question.”

 

            “Are you okay?”

 

            Mulder took a long, deep breath, resisting the urge to burrow even closer to Scully more than he already was.  He would rather just hide his face against her neck and stay there than answer a question like that.

 

            “I didn’t think I was,” Mulder said.  “Not until I walked through my door and saw you.”

 

            Scully didn’t say anything, but she pursed her lips just slightly and touched them to his hairline. 

 

            “The emptiness,” Mulder said.  “The loneliness I see inside of them.  The rage. I understand what they feel and sometimes it scares me.  It makes me afraid that I could easily become one of them.  But…”

 

            “But?”

 

            “I’m not like them.  I have something they don’t.”

 

            “Which is what?”

 

            It took Mulder a long time to answer.  He’d already gone out on quite a limb by lying down next to her and though things were going well so far, they could easily turn on a dime. He sighed, lifting his hand to run his fingers over her hair and then he brought his arm around her again.

 

            “I’m not alone,” Mulder said. “Am I?”

 

            Scully opened her mouth slightly and sucked in a short breath. Mulder moved up on his elbow and looked down at her as she turned her head to look up at him. Her eyes met his only briefly before she looked down and towards his chest.  Mulder needed her to look at him though, and he touched her jaw with his index finger, tipping her chin up so that he got what he wanted.

 

            “Scully,” Mulder whispered.  “If I kissed you right now, you wouldn’t knee me in the balls, would you?”

 

            The corners of Scully’s mouth lifted, only for a moment, but a slight smile was left behind.  He knew that if he could get her to react to a stab at humor, then he had her.  He smiled back, brushing her cheek with his index finger.

 

            “Only one way to find out,” Scully said, softly.  “Are you willing to take that chance, Agent Mulder?”

 

            “I’m confident that it’s worth the risk, Agent Scully.” As Mulder murmured his response, he lowered his mouth closer to Scully’s until he was whispering her name against her mouth.

 

            “Mulder?” Scully murmured, just as their lips came together.

 

            Mulder paused and lifted his head.  “Yeah?”

 

            “You’re not alone.”

 

The End

 


End file.
